3/23/2011

And then the elevator goes up (Hanna Franzen)

10 pm - There is still enough time to go to the gates. My plane will leave in one hour. But I will take the elevator to be there in time, maybe to buy a coffee.

Dad, I will see him tomorrow when he picks me up from the airport in Nice, France. My Daddy the seafarer, we have not seen each other for a long time. You left us alone, my mother crying all night. But she has her acting career, and I am just someone she occasionally drinks a cup of tea with, during her stay in Frankfurt.

While moving into the elevator I have seen a man who looks just like you, Daddy. I mean, his appearance reminds me of you. And now I am standing next to him and another blond woman in this elevator. Isn't it strange? But - wait, what is happening? The elevator has stopped. This man has already pushed the security button but there is no answer.

"Oh my God! Let me out... let me out...," the blond woman cries. When I hand her a handkerchief I can see that she is shaking all over her body. I pat her on her shoulder and smile. She seems to be from the South, and I wonder which flight she is going to take.

"It will all be fine, young Miss. Everything will be alright," the man says, kneeling down next the woman. "No, no - my flight, I'm going to miss it! I'm going to miss my flight to Brazil!" The man tries to console her, but in such an inappropriate flirting manner. "Oh, leave me alone," the Brazilian woman says. "I'm pregnant! And I'm not even sure if I want to stay with the father of my child, Fernando... What am I going to do if I miss this flight? And my baby, my boyfriend - is this how life should be? I'm still young..."

I cannot stand this anymore and so I turn around, sitting down in one corner of this small elevator. She is pregnant and does not even love her partner. That is not right. I cannot believe it! That baby, what is she going to do with it? All innocent and sweet, growing up in an unbearable setting, with parents who are not in love anymore.

I know what it feels like being alone. I know what it feels like when Mommy and Daddy do not get along very well, when the one is always paying more attention to her career and the other takes the next ship to leave his family for another adventure. Being a good parent is not easy, I know. And I did not have a bad childhood. Money has never been a problem. But there should be more than that.

"A child needs to be loved," I say to myself. It is so very important to make choices in life, and to become aware of what you really feel. I know, my parents love me and that they do not mean to be the way they are. What I really need is talk to them about my wishes and feelings. They shall listen to me like loving parents. That is all I ask of them. And then the elevator goes up.

© Vanessa Wohlrath

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